I’ve discussed Rule #20 of Pixar’s 22 Rules of Storytelling before, and how it can be a good exercise to improve our storytelling skills. I used this method to do a “story fix” for Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace last month, and I want to do the same thing with the other films in the Prequel Trilogy. So, here’s a rewrite of Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones!
Story Ground Rules
Pixar suggests that, when doing this story fix exercise, you use the building blocks of the existing story—don’t throw out the baby with the bath water, so to speak. So, that’s what I’ll do in this rewrite. It won’t all be the same, but I’ll repurpose what I can.
Like the previous movie, there’s a lot of good stuff in Episode II to work with. However, the narrative bogs down in several places. I’m going to propose some changes that I think would help the film keep its momentum—let’s touch on some of those before diving into the rewrite.
Same Results, Different Path
The big plot thread from the original film should stay the same: our heroes stumble upon a secret clone army being developed for the Republic on the planet Kamino. Things will spiral from there to the end of the film, where the clones battle a massive droid army on Geonosis, thus kicking off the Clone Wars. However, in this version it’ll be Anakin and Padme who discover the clone army. You’ll see why.
No Return to Tatooine
Not in this film at least. In the original Attack of the Clones, Anakin travels to Tatooine with Padme in an effort to save his mother. But as I covered in my Episode I rewrite, Shmi Skywalker is long dead by this point. This frees up Anakin and Padme to follow a plot thread that is more closely aligned with the story’s central conflict.
Replace Jango Fett…
Unfortunately, Jango Fett ended up on the cutting room floor of this rewrite. That doesn’t have to stop you from imagining Temura Morrison’s face on every clone trooper, though—he could still be the template for the Kaminoans’ cloning project, but the character of Jango Fett won’t appear in this version of the story. Jango’s role as a mini boss in this movie will be assumed by another familiar face…
…With General Grievous
We’ll replace Jango Fett with another baddie: General Grievous. In this version, Grievous will serve as a “gun-for-hire” heavy for the Separatists. But it won’t be the cyborg version of the General that we all know and love (not yet anyways). Introducing Grievous in this film will give us more time to play with his character and create a fun little rivalry with another character that will pay off in my Episode III rewrite.
An Addition to Padme’s Character
Finally, we’re going to add a layer to Padme’s character. In my Episode I rewrite, Padme’s homeworld (and remember, we swapped in Alderaan for Naboo) was attacked by the burgeoning Separatist movement. That would have left a mark. I think it would be interesting for her, now a member of the Galactic Senate, to be a leading voice against the Separatists. This would give her character some arc, as she slowly comes to realize Palpatine’s hold over the Republic and helps form a Separatist-like proto-Rebellion in Episode III.
Star Wars: Episode II Rewrite
Alright, let’s get down to it. If you want a refresher of what happened in the original film, you can check it out here. Otherwise, here’s my rewrite…
Attack of the Clones
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…
Three years have passed since the events of Episode I. Despite their defeat on Alderaan, support has only grown for the Confederacy of Independent Systems. Hundreds of star systems have joined the Separatist movement under Count Dooku and seek to break away from the Republic.
Although the Republic’s forces are stretched thin—as are the peace-keeping Jedi—the Senate refuses to bow to the Separatist demands and the cold war conflict continues.
Despite the uncertain times, Obi-Wan Kenobi continues to train Anakin Skywalker in the ways of the Jedi on Coruscant. Anakin is strong in the Force, but desperate to prove himself. The Council—led by Jedi Master Mace Windu—has twice refused to let Anakin take the Trials to become a Jedi Knight.
Padme Amidala is now a member of the Galactic Senate, representing Alderaan alongside Bail Organa. She is one of the leading voices against recognizing the Separatist movement, still harboring resentment for the attack on Alderaan years prior. She is supported by Senator Palpatine, who now manages the Republic’s military and its relationship with the Jedi Order.
Traveling to Coruscant, Padme’s diplomatic envoy is ambushed by a Separatist attack led by the Kaleesh warlord, General Grievous, a mercenary connected to the Separatists. Padme is saved by the intervention of Jedi starfighters, including one piloted by Anakin Skywalker, but not before several diplomatic ships are destroyed. Grievous escapes to the Outer Rim.
Despite his bravery, the Council refuses to let Anakin take the Trials a third time, and his frustration boils over. Obi-Wan urges his Padawan to be patient, telling him it’s only a matter of time before he becomes a Jedi Knight.
As the Republic prepares for war, Palpatine insists the Jedi provide a protective escort for Padme as she returns to Alderaan, fearful the Separatists might try another assassination attempt. The Council assigns Obi-Wan and Anakin to the task. Both Jedi are glad to be reunited with Padme.
The night before they’re to leave Coruscant, Obi-Wan receives a vision from the ghost of his former master, Qui-Gon Jinn. Qui-Gon instructs him to travel to a hidden planet, Kamino, in the Outer Rim. Obi-Wan’s vision ends with a black-clad but indistinct figure, wreathed in flame. Obi-Wan assumes this figure to be Darth Maul, the Sith Lord who killed Qui-Gon.
Additionally, Obi-Wan receives a secret message from none other than Count Dooku, who asks for his help. Dooku reveals that he and Qui-Gon were once friends and asks Obi-Wan to meet him on Polis Massa, a small colony located in an asteroid belt.
He shares his dilemma with Anakin and Padme. Obi-Wan decides to meet with Count Dooku (in the hopes of also finding Darth Maul and avenging Qui-Gon) while Anakin and Padme seek out Kamino. They part ways. Anakin and Padme bring her droid, R2-D2, to accompany them and they head toward Separatist space.
Anakin and Padme arrive in the Outer Rim and search for Kamino. They stop at a space cantina and ask for directions. The barkeep introduces them to Yinz Torra, a Duros smuggler who is as familiar with the sector as anyone. There’s only one problem—Yinz does not speak Basic. Padme enlists the protocol services of the barkeep’s translator and service droid, C-3P0.
Yinz tells them Kamino is a place of no consequence but agrees to take them there once he notices Anakin’s lightsaber. The smuggler secretly activates a homing beacon, which notifies General Grievous.
Meanwhile, Obi-Wan arrives at Polis Massa and meets with Count Dooku. Dooku reveals that he and other Separatist leaders are being controlled by two Sith Lords—Darth Maul and his mysterious master. Dooku wishes to defect and end the war between the Republic and Separatists before it begins. Obi-Wan agrees to help Dooku.
Anakin and Padme travel to Kamino with Yinz, their ship in tow. They get to know each other better and learn that they both lost their mothers at a young age. As they bond, it’s clear that some romantic feelings are forming. Their moment is interrupted by C-3P0, who tell them they will arrive soon.
As they drop from hyperspace over Kamino, Grievous’ mercenary ships await them. Realizing they have been betrayed, Anakin, Padme, R2-D2, and C-3P0 flee to their ship and engage in a dogfight with Grievous and his mercenaries. Though Anakin is a skilled pilot, they are outnumbered and outgunned. As Grievous closes in for the kill, Anakin crashes the ship into the Kaminoan ocean, and they sink.
On Kamino, Anakin and R2 manage to convert their starship into a makeshift submersible. Padme notices a thin strip of lights running along the ocean floor. They follow them and discover a massive underwater facility. Subs emerge from the facility and escort their ship to a docking bay. Anakin, Padme, R2-D2, and a nervous C-3P0 are forced to exit the ship. C-3P0 accidentally reveals that Anakin is a Jedi to the facility guards. They are led to the facility’s administrator, Lama Su.
Lama Su is under the impression that Anakin has arrived to check on their progress. Though confused, Anakin and Padme play it cool, and Padme identifies herself as a Republic senator, which greatly pleases their host. He shows them the massive clone army the Kaminoans have been building for the last decade—the clones are ready for combat. Anakin and Padme notify the Jedi Order about the secret army. The Kaminoans provide them a new ship, and they take their leave.
Obi-Wan boards his ship and chases after Maul. Using the tracker, he follows Maul to Geonosis. There, he discovers a huge Separatist factory, mass-producing battle droids. Before searching the factory, he records a message and sends it to Anakin and the Jedi Council. General Grievous and his mercenaries discover Obi-Wan, and he is captured.
He is brought to Darth Maul, who reveals Obi-Wan fell into his trap. The Sith knew Obi-Wan would follow him. He wanted to draw the rest of the Jedi to Geonosis to destroy them with an overwhelming droid army.
Having received Obi-Wan’s message, Anakin and Padme arrive on Geonosis and search for Obi-Wan. Anakin worries that his master will die, just like Qui-Gon. Padme comforts him and the pair explore the caves of Geonosis. Grievous' mercenaries attack them and force them into a battle arena. They find Obi-Wan is there, chained to a pillar.
From a lofty perch, Darth Maul states that they will be killed as a precursor to the destruction of their fellow Jedi. The Separatists release a vicious Aacklay into the arena to kill the trio, but they work together to defeat the beast. Suddenly, hundreds of Jedi arrive led by Mace Windu. Maul springs his trap and thousands of droids activate and battle the Jedi.
For as skilled as the Jedi are, they are severely outnumbered against the endless legions of droids. They near the breaking point when Yoda and Senator Palpatine arrive with the clone army from Kamino and turns the tide of battle. Surprised by this development, Maul flees. Obi-Wan pursues him.
Grievous and his mercenaries engage the Jedi in battle and Grievous is severely wounded by Windu. Obi-Wan confronts Maul, preventing him from reaching his ship. The Sith gladly accepts a duel with the Jedi. Anakin senses Obi-Wan is in danger and runs off to find him. Padme follows him.
Obi-Wan and Darth Maul engage in a fierce battle, with hundreds of Jedi and troopers looking on but unable to help. Maul tempts Obi-Wan to give into his rage. He nearly does, but ultimately resists after hearing Qui-Gon’s voice.
Maul, the more powerful fighter, gains the upper hand and disarms the Jedi. Anakin arrives as Maul is about to strike the killing blow. Overcome by anger, Anakin leaps in the way of the blade.
All things stop.
The Jedi nearby, including Windu, look on in awe. Anakin holds Darth Maul's blade at bay with the Force alone. Obi-Wan is shocked. So is Maul. Anakin ignites his lightsaber, and the two engage in a rage-filled duel.
Anakin's true power is on full display. He disarms Maul with a savage barrage of blows, defeating the Sith Lord. Before he kills Maul, Padme calls out to him, breaking Anakin from his rage-fueled focus. Anakin extends a hand to Obi-Wan and the two rise together, victorious. Maul is captured.
Back on Coruscant, Anakin is hailed as a hero by the Republic. Yoda speaks to Obi-Wan and Mace Windu. They are suspicious of the convenience of the clone army, but acknowledge they are in no place to spurn the help with the war against the Separatists now raging.
Obi-Wan shares what Dooku told him: that a Sith Lord is still at large—Darth Maul’s master—orchestrating the conflict. They agree to search for this Sith Lord in secret. Yoda also tells Obi-Wan that Anakin has finally been approved to take the Trials to become a Jedi Knight.
Darth Maul is imprisoned on Coruscant.
Palpatine is elected as Supreme Chancellor and oversees the Clone Army.
Anakin escorts Padme to Alderaan. As they approach the idyllic planet, he takes her hand in his.
THE END.
Conclusion
So, what do you think of this new version of Attack of the Clones? What do you like, what do you hate, and what would you have done differently? Let me know in the comments below!
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